Giancarlo Flanagan Sushi

I've been looking for an appetizer or snack or salad I can eat on Pork and Lamb day.  This is the day of my rotation plan when I can eat pork or lamb, and have any vegetable in the mustard family--cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, or mustard greens.  Other than yogurt and blueberries, there isn't a whole lot else on the list.  Just rosemary, vanilla and wintergreen.  And I can't even eat ham or bacon or other cured meats as the vast majority of them are cured with a combination of sugar and nitrates/nitrites.

But thanks to a new grocery store discover and a variation of good old coleslaw--I have finally found one! A snack for Day Three of my inconvenient diet. (Now there's a name for a movie, "An Inconvenient Diet".)

Now, you may ask, what the heck is this dish?  Is it fish? No. Is it Irish? No. Is it Italian? Not remotely. But it's good. And its two primary ingredients are cabbage and prosciutto.  Cabbage and Prosciutto Wrap just doesn't sound all that appetizing. But if Anthony Bourdain tasted this mad marriage of flavors, I am sure he'd want to have my baby. So to increase the chances of him trying it, I bring you the world-famous:

Giancarlo Flanagan Sushi

1/2 head of cabbage, cored and thinly sliced
1 4-oz. pkge (8 slices) of prosciutto (I recommend Citerrio Tutto Naturale Prosciutto. The only ingredients are pork and salt)
juice of 1 lime (I'm not supposed to have lime on Day 3, but Jeesh!)
2 drops lemon or orange liquid stevia extract (I used Sweetleaf Valencia Orange.)
1 6-oz. container of plain Greek yogurt
1/2 t salt

Juice the lime into a bowl and put the stevia and salt in the lime juice. Stir to combine evenly.  Mix in the yogurt.

Carefully separate the prosciutto slices, allowing two per person.  If you are at your laptop while you make this and your children are otherwise occupied with Tom and Jerry, then just make them one at a time as you eat them until all eight are gone.  

Anyway, on a normal day, you would allow two slices per person.  On each slice of prosciutto lay about 1/4 cup of cabbage slices across the center of the prosciutto.  Put one dollop (about 2 tablespoons) of the yogurt mixture on top of the cabbage. Roll the prosciutto around the cabbage and yogurt. Refrigerate until ready to serve and eat this the same day you make it.  Remember, there's a good reason God said "Don't eat pork", if you leave it out in the hot sun, it can kill ya! 

The crunch of the cabbage, the creaminess of the yogurt and the sweet, salty, tender proscuitto combine to create a happy, happy palate.

But, seriously, if you actually know anyone named Giancarlo Flanagan--and you might, if you're from the Boston area--then just call these little morsels Cabbage and Prosciutto Wraps.

Turkey with Rosemary and White Beans

I'm getting sick of chili. This is sad because I love chili. But I make it almost every fourth day, because on Day 4 of my crazy rotational diet plan I am allowed to have turkey, beans, and peppers.  So turkey chili is the natural choice.

I had to invent a replacement quickly, because I really don't want to not like chili. And here it is: 

Turkey with Rosemary and White Beans

1 T canola oil
2 large turkey tenderloins (about 1 1/2 lbs.)
2 ribs celery, finely chopped
2 bell peppers, seeded and sliced into thin strips (I like to use 1 green and 1 orange just to make this dish less beige)
2 cans of any kind of white beans, drained and rinsed. (I like Goya's Small White Beans, but you can use Great Northern or Canellini beans if you prefer.)
2 t. Italian seasoning
1 t. dried rosemary, crushed
1 c. water
salt and pepper to taste. 

Heat the oil and brown the turkey on high heat in a large saucepan just big enough for both pieces, about 5 minutes per side.  Remove the turkey to a plate and reserve. 

Reduce the heat to medium and put in the celery and peppers and cook until softened and the celery is golden.  If you like, you could also add two cloves of minced garlic and 1 small chopped onion into the veggie mix, but I can't. I get to have onion on Day 1. This recipe is for Day 4. Capeci?

Stir the beans into the veggies and add the water and seasoning.  Top with the browned turkey tenderloins and cover the pan. Reduce the heat to low and cook for an hour and a half or so to steam the turkey into tenderness.  You can also put it all into a slow cooker on low for 3 to 4 hours. 

This makes two enormous servings.  If you don't want to eat 3/4 of a lb of meat, feel free to slice each tenderloin lengthwise before browning and serve 4 people a more reasonable, but still generous portions. 

You might even trick your kids into eating this if you tell them it's chicken. If you don't want to lie to your kids, you can just use chicken in the first place. You could also stir in some chopped tomato, or Italian dressing. And, as usual, I use an additional crisp, raw bell pepper and cut it into strips to use as my children's side dish, because they won't touch cooked vegetables.

As always, whatever you add or omit....Make it work people!

Puzzles Lovers' Delight

Remember those logic games in the back of Yankee magazine? "Mr. Black does not live next door to Mr. Green.  The man with a pet skunk does not ride a bicycle to work.  Mr. Blue has only one neighbor, who takes public transportation.  Mr. White does not own a dog. Etc... " And you have to figure out who lives next door to whom, what kind of pet they have, and how they get to work? Well, that's kind of how my menu planning is going for tomorrow. 

My husband's new band mates are coming over for a rehearsal tomorrow. Now, normally, I don't really feed the band. They can have chips and beer. But these are new bandmates, who are making a two hour trek to our house for rehearsal. And one of them is female. I need to feed them, don't you think?

So I was thinking of making something that can be ready whenever everyone is ready to eat. I mean, they might play for two hours, then break for food. Or they may play straight through until evening. Or they may decide to eat when they get out of the car after their two-hour drive. So pot roast works! I can make an oven pot roast with garlic and onions and make oven roasted potatoes and carrots on the side. Everything stays warm in the oven until they are ready for grub. I can't eat the potatoes, but I can have pot roast and make some roasted zucchini as well for me. Right?

No, not right, because I just remembered the guitar player is a vegetarian. 

Okay. Start over. I can still make the pot roast, but instead of the potatoes and carrots, I'll make a vegetarian side dish that works with pot roast, and works as a main dish. How about grilled veggies with warm bulgur salad? Eggplant works as a main course layered with the bulgur and tomatoes and zucchini, and the bulgur will soak up the juices of the pot roast and make a nice bed for the meat. Yum. Except for one thing. I can't eat bulgur. It's a grain. So I'm back to just pot roast and zucchini for me.

Okay, how about a side dish I can eat, that the guitar player (we'll call him Dave) can eat as well? It will still act as a main course, but as a side dish for the rest of the band.  Ooh! Got it! Lentils layered with zucchini and tomatoes and baked like a lasagna with mozzarella on top. Yum, yum, double yum.  Imagine that with the juicy pot roast layered on top. Then I can just make a green salad as side.  Dave and I get a decent meal with lentils and cheesy deliciousness full of veggies and herbs. The other guys get pot roast layered over a lentil bake. And everyone gets a salad. 

What? The singer is a vegan? Oh. Okay.

Well, faux-lentil-lasagna will not be good without cheese. It won't be lasagna at all. And without a cheese topper, it will dry out if the band isn't ready to eat when it's done.So, how about a lentil salad with shallots, plum tomatoes and a vinaigrette as a main course? And two veggie sides.  (The vinaigrette will have to be on the side, because I can't have it.)

And I still have an entire drawer full of carrots and beets from my winter CSA shares from the farm. And two huge bowls of potatoes, which I can't eat and my kids won't eat. 

Enough with minimizing the dishes. Let's just making a little of everything so everybody's full and happy. We're starting over...Here's the menu. Stop me when you're full.

• Oven pot roast cooked with onions and garlic in a coffee-based brown sauce. 

• Lentil salad with vinaigrette on the side.

• Potatoes roasted in oil and herbs. 

• Carrot and beet gratin using vegetable broth and soy cheese.

• Zucchini and summer squash saute.  

• And just in case I don't feel like cooking on another day ( I can't imagine why), while the oven is on, I'll make a meatloaf stuffed with zucchini and spinach to save for another day. 

Oh, that's right. We're having chili tonight, better get started on that. I need run to the store to pick up some peppers. 

For My Breadless Friends

These recipes are not mine. They are adapted from George Stella's "Real Food Real Easy", which I highly recommend for people on anti-fungal, low carb, or GF diets.  Most of his recipes are familiar flavor combinations, but he has some great ideas for using soy flour for substitutes if you can't have grain.  Here are two, adapted somewhat:

Waffles

You can use these waffles as waffles, with butter and fruit and cream as toppings. Or, you can use them as bread for sandwiches, either for breakfast, or lunch.  Bread, remember bread? Here's your substitute.

1/2 c. soy flour
1/4 c. bulk sugar substitute (such as Splenda)
1/2 t. baking powder
2 eggs
2/3 cup whole milk
1 t. vanilla

Spray a waffle iron with canola oil spray and preheat it while you combine all of the ingredients.  If it is too thick, add a little water or milk to thin it out.

Use 1/4 c to 1/3 c batter (depending on the size of your waffle iron), for each waffle.  Cook 5 to 6 minutes per waffle. Don't peek!  You can freeze these and warm them in your toaster oven on a low setting when you are ready to eat them. 


Blueberry Cheese Coffee Cake

Cake Batter
3/4 c. soy flour
1/2 c. plus 1 T bulk sugar substitute (such as Splenda)
2 t baking powder
2 eggs
1 1/2 t. vanilla
1/4 to 1/2 c. blueberries

Cheese Layer
1 egg
8 oz. Neufchatel cheese
1/4 to 1/2 c. blueberries

Crumb Topping
3 T butter
1/4 c. bulk sugar substitute
1/2 c. unsweetened coconut
1/2 t. cinnamon

Preheat oven to 375 degrees and grease an 8 inch round pan.  Sprinkle 1 T of sugar substitute over the bottom of the pan. Combine dry cake ingredients and then beat in eggs and vanilla.  Gently add blueberries. Pour batter into the pan.

Now combine the cheese topping ingredients and pour over the cake batter.

Finally, make the crumb topping by cutting the Splenda into the butter and mixing it with the coconut and cinnamon.  (The original recipe calls for almond flour in place of the coconut, so if you can tolerate nuts, go nuts!) 

Bake about 35 to 45 minutes and let cool slightly before cutting. 

Enjoy, my breadless friends!

Dessert or Decadence?

When you want something sweet, you want something sweet.  So, if you can't have sweets, here's a little sweetness for you.  You can have this for breakfast or after dinner. Or brunch. After lunch. Whenever.

Blackberries and Cream

1 cup frozen blackberries
1/4 cup heavy cream
1 6-oz. container plain Greek yogurt or 3/4 cup regular plain yogurt. (The Greek kind has more protein.)
2 drops vanilla creme stevia extract, or to taste

Let the blackberries sit at room temp in a bowl for a few minutes to defrost them a little bit.  Whisk together the heavy cream, yogurt, and stevia.  Spoon over the blackberries.  Eat.  Look over your shoulder to make sure your physician isn't about to take your cholesterol levels. Kidding! You used lowfat yogurt right?


Blueberry Smoothy

1 cup frozen wild blueberries
1 cup yogurt
2  drops lemon stevia extract, or to taste
heavy cream, optional

Put everything in a blender and puree until blueberries are all broken up.  For dessert, spoon it into a sundae dish and lace with heavy cream. For breakfast, put it in a covered tumbler and drink it with a straw on the way to work.  Once you park the car, take the cover off and drink all the stuff that stayed on the bottom.

For a little added kick, garnish either of these with cacao nibs--chocolate-covered cacao nibs if you can!

Hot Chocolate

1 mug full of milk
2 T unsweetened cocoa powder
2 to 3 drops vanilla creme stevia extract

Heat the milk in the microwave for 1 to 2 minutes, depending on how powerful it is.  It needs to be pretty warm, but not scalding.  Stir in the stevia first, then the coca powder.  If you put in the cocoa first, the stevia will cling to the powder and you may end up with sweet spots and bland spots if the mixture isn't completely homogenous.  I like to put extra cocoa and let it settle to the bottom to dig out with a spoon later.  But I don't recommend this unless you like seriously dark, bitter chocolate. 

And don't forget the mock cheesecake from April's post "Who Ate All the Mascarpone?", which you can make with any flavor stevia extract, with or without the flaxseed.  You can drizzle a little heavy cream over that, too! Heavy cream is just plain good.

Condimental Health

I'm not a big ketchup person, so I'll eat anything called ketchup in small amounts and I don't see a big difference between brands. And If we run out, we run out. My stepson however, loves ketchup.

Anyway, I made some oven fries to go with our rib-eyes one day when he was about fifteen.  As I was setting the table, I realized there was no more ketchup.  I froze, vamped for a minute, and decided to just play it off.  If it's not on the table and I don't say anything, it won't be missed. No one's going to get up and look for additional condiments once they are sitting down.  Right?  Wrong!

My stepson said politely, "May I please have some ketchup?"  Oops. Beat. Pause. Pregnant pause.  Crap, I thought. I felt like I forgot to pass in my homework.

"Oh, sure. No problem. Be right back." I went into the kitchen, feeling like I needed to throw together a missing essay and made some ketchup.

Here's how it went: Panic. Grab tomato paste.  Open fridge and stare morosely into it in the hopes that aforementioned missing ketchup will appear.  Panic. Open cupboard. Grab garlic powder, onion powder, salt, sugar, vinegar.  Panic. Mix haphazard ingredients together in a ramekin. Taste it with my finger. Deep breath.

Ninety seconds later I returned with a cute little bowl of ketchup and set it down by his place setting. I don't remember if he liked it. But he did ask me what kind it was. And I fessed up that I made it.  Then I just remember a confused silence.

Now normally I do not recommend making homemade condiments for teenagers unless your whole family wears Birkenstocks, vacations at all-ages nudist colonies, and thinks of muesli as sugary cereal.  BUT, if you are on a diet that does not allow sugar, corn syrup, vinegar, black pepper, hard cheeses, fermented soy sauce, or eggs, you better make something to go on your food. Or you will require large amounts of antidepressants before each meal. There are a thousand and one different kinds of salt available nowadays to season your foods, but they really don't taste all that different from Morton's.

Ketchup

1/4 c tomato paste
Juice of 1/2 lemon
1/2 t onion powder
1/2 t garlic powder
1/2 t salt
1 drop plain stevia extract OR 1/2 T honey

Beat all the ingredients together with a fork and serve as if you've eaten this all your life.

Cocktail sauce

Use ketchup recipe, but use the juice of a whole lemon and add cayenne pepper to taste.  If still too thick, you can thin it with a little water.

Faux Mayo

1/4 cup plain yogurt
1 T canola or sunflower oil
Juice of 1/2 lemon
pinch of salt
pinch of cayenne

If you don't do dairy, you can substitute 1/4 cup silken tofu for the yogurt.  This is particularly good in chicken salad.

For a mustard-y flavor. Mix 1 t ground mustard and crush 1 T mustard seeds and mix them with the lemon juice before mixing up the faux mayo.

Clear Coleslaw

This makes a great "condiment" for sandwiches or wraps, as well as a great year-round side dish.  COoler than cooked dishes in the summer, and heartier than a salad in the winter.

1 small head of cabbage, red or green (not savoy) OR 1/2 large head of cabbage, finely sliced
juice of 1 lime
2 T honey
2 T canola or sunflower oil
1 t dried dill
1 t caraway seeds
1 t salt

Mix the lime, honey, oil, dill, caraway and salt.  Toss with shredded cabbage.

White Coleslaw

Alternately, you can toss 1 small head of shredded cabbage with faux mayo, mixed with 1 T honey.

Hummus

If you can't have tahini due to a sesame allergy, and you need to rotate your oils, here's an easy hummus recipe.

! can of chick peas, rinsed and drained
3 T unsweetened sunflower butter
1 garlic clove
1 T sunflower or canola oil
juice of 1 lemon
salt to taste

Run the garlic through your garlic press (minced won't cut it) and put everything in a blender or food processor.  If too thick, add oil. If to thin, add sunflower butter.

If you are on a low-carb or an anti-fungal diet, use endive leaves or celery for dipping. This is also great on sandwiches or with grilled veggies. 


Salad Dressings

You know what a Lover's Salad is, right? Lettuce alone without dressing.

Funny, but not very tasty.  Here are some ideas for dressing those naked greens.

All you need is acid, oil, and some sort of seasoning to flavor-up your salad.  When avoiding vinegar, citrus becomes the obvious choice for acid.  Coffee is a great acid for cooking meat---braising and stewing with coffee, for instance-- but I have yet to figure out how to make a decent salad dressing with it.  I'll keep you posted.  For now, you need citrus.

Lemon dressing--squeeze the juice of one lemon, add oil in a 2 to 1 ration, and add salt with whatever seasoning you like.  Just remember to let it sit for 30 minutes or so to maximize the flavor.  You can add chopped ginger, garlic, rosemary, thyme, or herbes de Provence, whatever flavor will complement your main course. Or use lime instead and put in chopped cilantro.  Use herb- or chili-infused oil and drizzle away.

White dressing--start with the faux mayo or mustard-y mayo, and thin with oil to your preferred consistency.

Hummus dressing--thin the hummus recipe above with oil until smooth and pourable.
 
These recipes are not meant to be made ahead of time. They are meant to be made the same day they are served. In small doses. The upside?  They have no preservatives. The downside?  They have no preservatives.

I sincerely hope that you don't absolutely have to avoid store-bought condiments, because it can be sort of a pain in the patooty.  But it's a hoot to whip up some ketchup at a cookout and watch the look on your guests faces.  It's a little like going to a playground in cocktail attire.  It's fun, but if you do it too much your friends will start to call you a show-off.